Forever Strangers

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The more of the world I see, the more I realize that this world will never be my home.  As long as I can remember, I have always longed for somewhere to belong.  

Yes, my family and my friends are fantastic, but no matter where you are in life, there is always that extra longing for something else that isn’t quite in reach or even seen yet.

In Argentina, this theme continued even stronger.  I very quickly realized that no matter how much I learned about the language and the culture, 

I would never be from Argentina.  

There would always be signs that gave me away and times of misunderstanding.  

It got to the point that it seemed that those who were not even trying to fit in were actually fitting in better.  

For example, one day on the bus there was this Chinese gentleman sitting next to me.  He answered his phone and started talking in Chinese.  Obviously he was not an Argentine.  But no one paid any attention to him.  Well, my phone rang right after and I answered it and began putting on my best Argentine Spanish accent.  Obviously it was a failed attempt when seemingly everyone in the bus turned around to locate the “misplaced” gringo on the bus.  

Even though many, many people I met there were very welcoming, the church felt like home, and I could see improvements in my Spanish from week to week, I still could not shake the feeling of being displaced in the big wide world.

Now that I’m back in the States, this is supposed to be my culture and where I do belong, right?  

I can’t identify here nor there any more.  

I am realizing more and more how much I’ve grown and changed.  Also, every day I continue to see more aspects of the US culture that I would like to lose in myself and change, that I never paid attention to before. 

I’ve realized that anywhere I am, I’ll always be journeying—sojourning in a foreign land until one day when I reach home.  

I don’t see a home for me anywhere in sight in this world.  I’ve only caught bits and pieces that are divided and broken. 

Look at Abraham, look at Jacob, look at Joseph, look at Job, look at the Israelites.  They all had a period of confusion, of waiting, and of chaos, after which God came through on all his promises.

By faith he [Abraham] went to live in the land of promise, 

as in a foreign land, 

living in tents with Isaac and Jacob, heirs with him of the same promise.  

For he was looking forward to the city that has foundations, 

whose designer and builder is God. 

Hebrews 11:9-10

I’ve come to the conclusion that, although it seems like a paradox, my search for identity and a place to belong is only leading me toward the lack thereof in this world.  

There is too much chaos and too much division in the world for me to pick out something worth uniting with and belonging to.  I think, if anything, I understand more clearly Paul's statement, "to live is Christ and to die is gain."  All the heartbreak seen in this world makes us long for what is to come only that much more strongly.  

This lack of an encounter with the idea of belonging is exactly where I needed to end up.  

We are strangers here, we are not home yet, we are living here as foreigners and aliens until the day of Christ.  

There is Hope.  

One day these broken bits and pieces will be placed together and united.